first kiss

Published November 9, 2009 Good Stuff! , dating 1 Comment
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i reckon you can tell alot about a guy from the way he kisses.

how loose are his lips and mouth?  how much does he use his tongue and what does he do with it?  is it a two-way-street?  does he close his eyes, or – creepy – leave them open too much? what’s he doing with his hands?  does he moan or make any sound while kissing or being kissed?  does he kiss only on the lips, or venture to other places?  does the rest of his body speak the same language as his kissing, & what does he touch while kissing ?  in short,  does a guy kiss mostly because it’s a formal prelude to the ‘main event’, or as a thoroughly absorbing and enjoyable activitly purely by itself?

last week as i said goodbye to J, i stole a second goodbye kiss.  he has beautiful soft lips, and i was immediately hooked and aching for a LOT more!

so we caught up last weekend; a repeat of the friday-night-out & saturday-night-in double-deal of the weekend before :).  had a great time both nights, despite only 4hours sleep the night before both. (Restavit has since come to the rescue there thank god).

so as Saturday night moved along, assisted by some “organic” imagery in a weird computer game we were playing, followed by what i considered to be rather suggestive imagery in one of iTunes 9s latest visualisations, i leaned in for our first kiss…

what followed was probably a couple of hours of blissful, entwined kissing on the couch :)  not only is J an awesome kisser, he said he thought the same of me.  double awesome :D

i learned quite a few more things about J last weekend, some of them purely from the way he kisses – and it’s all good.  happy boy…

so what floats your boat when it comes to kissing?

…and now for something completely different…

Published November 2, 2009 Good Stuff! Leave a Comment
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this blog’s been a vent.  a pretty pointless vent i’ll admit, at least from an outsider’s perspective.  but it has helped me formulate ideas/arguments/opinions about stuff over the last 2.5 years, so no regrets.  i’ve never done, nor had any desire to do what’s needed to attract a readership.  (having said that i just checked my stats and am surprised to see hundreds of hits on the Optus contract-cancellation post! maybe that’s not so surprising…)

but i reckon its time to add a new dimension – the personal.  so to all you peeps who haven’t been reading my blog, sorry, but things are about to change.  i’ll probably still rant from time to time, but…

things seem to be changing.  and i feel the urge to output.

i’ve alluded in older posts to the depression that’s gripped my life these past few years.  it’s been a bit of a roller-coaster – and that was without meds!  in fact i read a blog a week ago by a guy who gave Prozac a try, & hated it, cuz “everything was ‘nice’, which kinda sux”, which i’ve heard many times before.  then when its effects tapered off he was faced with the decision to try a different AD which needed a more serious commitment (long-ish ramp-up & ramp-down – no sudden dose changes, potentially more serious side-effects) & decided against it.  confirmed my gut instinct.

anyway, back to me.  the depression reached an all-time low this year, insidiously infecting more and more of my life, including work.  it’d never seriously impacted work all that much before, except for a bit last year.  but the situation almost reached breaking point before *somehow* i managed to pull it back from the brink of disaster not much more than a month ago.

i knew then it was time to ditch the self-medication.  FUUUUUUUCK!  what’m i sposed to do now?  LIVE?!?

that’s the fraked up thing about depression & “self-medication”.  it’s isolated me from the world, which has been “nice” in its usual fraked up way, and yet somehow i still have the power to put it aside and “open the window to life” again, simply because right now i *need* to to avoid serious shit from hitting the fan.

i’ve been at this stage twice before – giving up smoking, and having to go through the withdrawal & detox, and have my mind come back to life, start looking outward, and rediscovering the world.  and the impact that has on sleep (one of my favourite topics!).  so that’s why i’m writing this shit at 3:44am on a monday morning.  great…  it’s been like this for a month.  and somehow i let the Doc talk me out of “proper” sleeping pills (Stillnox) last week in preference to herbal shit, which has done SFA.

since i buggered my shoulder in Byron last Feb from what seemed like a minor fall off my skateboard, the Doc said no more gym or skating till its healed, which i think’s also been a big contributor to my low mood this year.  it’s taken 6+ months to heal.  i’ve only felt ready to put pressure on it this past 2 or so months.  but it’s been a challenge just to get out of bed in the morning, forget the treadmill.  & now even though my security blanket is gone, the fraked up sleep means exercise is the last thing i feel like doing when i wake up.  catch fuckin 22 again… :(

but the most unexpected impact of this slow turning of the oil-tanker that is my life, has been the realisation that i have “significant feelings” for someone i’ll call J.  a situation (whose details are now unimportant) evoked a physical stomach-turning dose of jealousy.  yes, jealousy!  i’d never considered myself the jealous type before.  where the hell did this come from!??  we’ve been friends for 6+ months, online chatting nearly 12!

but there it is.  the more time i spend with J the more we seem to have in common, the more i like his outlook on life, the more i feel a kindred spirit.  and, well, i’ve always had a hard spot for cute asian guys ;)  i tortured him with some cryptic facebook posts last week (not really expecting him to even see them), which he saw & replied to.  i was so stupidly cryptic he got the completely wrong idea, thought i’d “found someone else”.  no babe, it’s you.  i couldn’t even bring myself to confess my fledgeling feelings for him when we went out on friday night – no, i had to do it via SMS when i got home (isn’t that what GenY do?!?).  such is the impact this ‘black dog’ has had on what used to be my very healthy dose of self-confidence.  that, and also not wanting to fuck up what’s turning out to be a great friendship.

anyway, the SMS conversation was, well, kinda nice!  at least, not the usual “dear john, you’re a great friend.”  so we caught up again the next night.  2 nights in a row, ooher, people will talk!  another great night, watched star trek 11.  and this time we got to cuddle a bit on the couch – that was nice :)  i can’t remember how long since that happened…  went for a walk up to the nearby lookout that overlooks the city.  nice.  talked lots.

not sure where he’s at.  possibly still in shock? :)  and also has a slightly complicated domestic situation with his ex, and his little brother coming to live with both of them early next year.  but he didn’t seem too averse to the idea of taking things slow & seeing where it goes.  so, there it is.

this is all pretty surreal for me.  that side of life has been off limits for years now, thanks to dysthymia.  it’s forcing me to deal with my low self-esteem & body image, and get back into exercise & back on my board.

4:30am.  think i’m ready for sleep now.  stay tuned…

Fax to Lindsay Tanner MP re Internet Filtering

Published September 7, 2009 DRM-SUX , do something! Leave a Comment

Dear Mr Tanner,

I’ll spare you the form-letter bullet points of why the Government’s proposed internet filtering scheme is illconsidered, ineffective and unwanted.  You’ve heard them all before.

However primary among them is the reality that it just won’t work.  Every time someone creates a ‘wall’ to block internet traffic, it is virtually guaranteed that someone else will find a way around it.  I currently have no “need” to use various technologies to avoid/bypass the kind of filtering proposed by the Government, but I assure you I already have the technology to do so literally at the click of my mouse.

If the Government’s filter comes anywhere close to causing the slow-down OR false-positives that various lobby groups are suggesting it will, I guarantee you that the technology/know-how to bypass this filter will spread into the mainstrream faster than you can say “but 99.99% of Australia’s population aren’t trying to access illegal material”.

And in so doing you will have completely undermined the good intentions of the proposed filter scheme.

As an IT consultant to small business in Melbourne, I perceive the “digital divide” to be growing, not shrinking.  The divide I’m talk about isn’t the haves and have-nots, it’s those who know how to protect themselves and their children from undesirable material, and those who don’t (they are the vast majority).  These are the same people who don’t know how to recognise a malicious spam/phishing email and thus get their computer infected with a spam-bot (or worse), which makes the internet a more dangerous or unpleasant place for all of us.

These are two good reasons why spending money on educating ordinary PC users on how to keep _themselves_ as well as their computers safe is more important than ever.  Frankly, the technology to _effectively_ implement the kind of filter you desire simply doesn’t exist (and for the foreseeable future never will) – it is just too easy to bypass, and the “only” ones negatively impacted are those 99.99% of Australians NOT trying to access illegal material.

I voted for Labor in the last election primarily based on issues relating to environmental and financial management.  I never for one moment considered the ALP’s internet filtering scheme as acceptable collateral damage, but rather as a vote-grabber to be fought *now*.

I call upon you to take whatever steps are necessary to not proceed with this bone-headed scheme, but rather to direct the funds at genuinely _educating_ Australian computer users on how to keep themselves safe on the internet.

Like, how about a perpetual, Government-funded multi-media education campaign, on TV, radio, newspapers, website, Youtube, Twitter, all that and beyond, educating Australian computer users on how to keep themselves, their children and computers safe – to whatever level is appropriate for the individual/family.  Make it ubiquitous, brand it well & consistently, make it comprehensive yet easy, and you will achieve the goal, and more.

And pursue the 0.01% of illicit users far more intelligently than a dumb bypassable filter across the entire population.

Thank you for your time,
Yours sincerely,
Anthony

Are you on an Optus Mobile contract & want out?

Published August 14, 2009 Consumer Fraud , Good Stuff! , bad service , stupid greedy white men 2 Comments
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are you fed up with Optus (Mobile) & want out, but locked into a 24month contract with massive early cancellation penalty? well here’s your free chance out!

Optus have added clause 5.2A(personal)/5.3(business) to their SFOA – Standard Form Of Agreement – covering most pre- & post-paid mobile customers.  if, like many, you object to it, they have the obligation to allow you to end the contract without “early termination fees”.

you only pay for outstanding calls, and however many months worth of handset repayments you have left (if any – some people choose to pay up-front, or higher monthly without handset fees). for me that’s 12 or 13 months x ~$7 = $84, which is 10% of the early termination fee that would ALSO apply if YOU (or I) were in breach of contract. but in this case, it’s Optus who are.

the change they made (effective 12 August 09) is to block you from calling certain Optus mobile numbers – numbers that happen to be used by cheap international calling services, which is just plain anticompetitive. but the SFOA change is so vaguely worded it could be applied to ANY ph# they choose in future. even if you’ve never used such a service before, they are negatively materially impacting the terms of their contract with you for the remainder period of your contract, and you are at liberty to cancel it without early-cancellation-penalty.

their obligations under the SFOA give you until Friday 4th September to object and cancel (without penalty) before they consider you to have agreed with the new terms.

if you cancel in this way, you’ll probably have the choice to revert to a month-to-month arrangement (as would happen automatically when a contract runs out) and consider your options, or cancel immediately & go elsewhere (probably needs a 1 month notice anyway?).

if you call and eventually convince them to cancel your contract without penalty, i urge you to call again a few days later, or at least a few days before your next billing period begins, and confirm that your account has in fact been marked for contract cancellation without penalty.  Optus use one of the oldest tricks – they say “yes, sir” on the phone, but do nothing at their keyboard.  when your next bill arrives you realise nothing’s been done, you’re still in contract, but now the deadline for objecting to the new terms has passed.  when i called a 2nd time, the CS rep knew nothing of what i was talking about, i was still in-contract with no indication i was cancelling – i had to explain again, be put on hold, then received a confirmation/reference number.

i was told each time that the early-cancellation penalty will still appear on my bill, but i have to call up to have it credited before paying it.  naturally i expect that CS rep to say “sorry sir, you’ve asked to cancel your contract, the early termination penalty applies” and have to explain it all again.  but hopefully that’ll be the final moment of victory.

after swearing i’d never go back to Telstra for anything (other than this barely-used land-line for ADSL), and i may yet go elsewhere, i never thought a Telstra competitor – Optus – could become so unpalateable that they made Telstra look appealing.  things must be getting tight on the Optus books…

oh no, Netgear sux too…

Published July 16, 2009 bad service Leave a Comment
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i “inherited” a Netgear Rangemax WPN824v3 wireless router recently, and found a use for it. as it’s a pre-802.11n uber-802.11g 104Mbps thingy, so i figured it’d be a good idea to put the latest (2 year old, so presumably stable) firmware into it. and that’s where the fun stopped…

i was trying to upgrade the firmware in this thing on a Mac with Firefox, but got a ‘invalid filename’ error when trying to upload the new firmware.

what a ridiculous fiasco ensued:

- the product support pages have a FAQ note advising to use Firefox2 or IE, and that updated firmware will be posted soon. but, how am I to get this promised-but-as-yet-undelivered firmware into the router with this bug?!?

- so I try the following setups:
Safari4 on Mac = same problem
IE8 on Windows7 = same problem
IE8 on WindowsXP = same problem
IE7 on WinXP = same problem (how is that possible!??)

in disbelief & desperation, I went to the Netgear forums.

- a 1 year old forum post on this topic (now closed – why is it closed? the issue is clearly unresolved) advises to “turn off Java”. without logging in to this forum, the 2 pictures attached to the post didn’t display. so I dutifully disabled Java. same problem.

- i noted the original poster says only IE is supported, all else “at own risk”. nice to see that in the user manual – NOT.

- so i dig up some old forum login credentials – they seem to be half recognised but i’m none the less referred back to a full registration page. so i register – again.

- then i see the 2 pictures, clearly showing both Java AND JavaScript unticked. for the uninitiated, Java & JavaScript are totally separate & unrelated things. i untick them (as unintuitive as this seems, given that the Rangemax config pages appear to require JavaScript). but finally that works.

TWO HOURS LATER a 10 minute job is done.

not wanting to sound like an Apple fanboy, but this kind of chosen mediocrity by a (once respected?) major networking company just drives me nuts.

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