A week ago I bought a photography book from The Book Depository for $34 with free shipping. The same book was listed in the A&R website for $112 and $12 shipping! Even with 10% added I’m still buying overseas.

I work for an Australian publisher, an independent, not one of the arms of Penguin or Harper Collins or the like. While it may be true that some of these local arms of internationals may fall, I think the small local publishers can step up and fill the void and keep the Australian voice out there. And then there’s also the rise of self publishing at seems to be getting stronger, especially in the ebook world.

Ultimately though few are buying books of Australian content from overseas, it’s not often available on these sites. We the small publishers are creating these stories and are making local and international sales without the big publishers marketing budgets behind us.

The REDGroup did a lot of stupid things (they were our distributor, we were also hurt a little by the collapse) I think in the long run we’ll be better without them.

I don’t have any experience with long-distance relationships but do you think it could work if you move to Byron? You’ve talked before on the blog about how much you yearn to live there and it’s not ridiculously far from Sydney, but then I guess you guys would need to talk about whether or not that’s something you’re prepared to do. How set are your roots in Melburnia?

And no, you’re not a pathetic lapdog. I used to think following someone for love was lame but that just goes to show little I allowed myself to love. I’d hope that now J would know that Sydney and what it stands for (parking fines and STIs and all) would be hard for you, even if he didn’t initially when applying for jobs? (here’s hoping)

@Tyroga, point taken, tho I simplified the issue a bit. I did raise the issue with J a couple of times (at the start, and after he went to Sydney for the main interview & came home feeling hopeful of getting it), but the discussion never reached a genuine conclusion. this in itself speaks volumes about our situation.

@Frankly Anonymous, you are both correct, and boringly narrow-minded all at the same time. You’re right, J & I are not a traditional couple, we both acknowledge this is a “partnership of convenience” for the here-and-now, and neither of us regret the time together thus far. So in that sense, I don’t subscribe to your notion that all couples/relationships must conform to your narrow definition.

Having said that @Frankly Anonymous, you did give me the necessary kick up the bum to look more objectively at J & I’s relative commitment to that agreement, and realise that – for reasons that J has not made clear to me yet (if ever) – this arrangement now rates at a lower priority than accepting a great job offer *no matter where it is*, including the one city in the world I have no desire to return to, and is thus willing to sacrifice our “relationship” for it, as well as uproot his little brother, despite earlier agreeing it would be sensible for him to live with us for the rest of the year.

This is the bit that’s come as a surprise and disappointment to me; call that the actions of a selfish jerk if you must, I guess the grass is greener where you live. Good for you.

As above, I asked myself all of JoJo’s questions & more, looking at which of the 2 options in front of me will be more likely to get me to where *I* want to be within the next few years, and I honestly couldn’t say that a year or two in Sydney with J would better achieve that – quite the opposite I think.

Another friend, John, via Facebook suggested that unexpectedly great things can happen when you ‘throw yourself off a cliff’ (ie. follow J to Sydney, or even overseas, although the latter is of even less interest to me), and he’s absolutely right. But it’s still geared towards J’s interests, not mine – if I’m to follow him, I take a great risk & challenge (and J very little), all for what? Recreating what we already have in Melbourne, in Sydney – after thinking through the realities – is actually less likely to get me where I want to be. My jumping-over-the-cliff will likely be that physical move up north.

“Traditional” couples probably would jump over the cliff and Do Sydney for a while, and then jump over the next cliff too.

So, as it stands now, I won’t be moving to Sydney with J. But who the fuck knows, I’ve already flip-flopped once… :)

Then a few months later the company I worked for was sold and the IT department, of which I was a part, was all made redundant. So we revisited the move to Melbourne. I was in a rutt and with work out of the picture now I weighed up everything and took the plunge.

I understand the apprehension about going back to Sydney, while I don’t know your exact reasons, your short reasoning in this post is pretty much why I would also never want to return to Sydney. But push come to shove, if David got another job that he really wanted I’d grit my teeth and move back there.

The only thing I’d pull you up on in this post is the idea that it was J’s job to start the ‘“what if?” discussion’. You’re a partnership and therefore either can broach any subject in the name of open communication.

But ultimately your friend Jojo is right. If you feel a connection with young J that’s more important than anything else cause we only get the one life and it’s awesome when you can spend it with someone who complements you (not completes you cause you need to be a whole first and not compliments though I’ve sure he does that too on a regular basis).

Life is full of questions and the unknown. Your future is untrodden, which path do you want to take?

The answers are in your heart and head. Lose the sugar coating and follow your instincts.

You can always wait 3-6 months and decide then.

-your cyber friend :-)